The Obvious Choice®

Look, if last night we fucked, then i got dressed and left,
or last night we had sex then we cuddled for a sec,
or last night we made love then conversated till the conversation got boring,

DONT EVER FUCKIN’ CALL ME IN THE MORNIN’!!!!!!!

See we just met a couple days ago, you aint know how to play it though,
but i seen the freak hidden way below the licked lips when you said hello,
touching on my hands n arms when i was gettin the digits to ya phone,
so last night i called ya home, you talking bout how you all alone,
i’m talkin bout can i get some dome, and how i aint know ya last lame my sex game’ll have you blown,
c’mon lil momma we grown,
you know what you want gimme the word and its on,
matter of fact hold on, (door closes)
aiight i’m in the car now dont do me wrong, she said you right bring that shit on,
i hit the gas and was gone,
a hour later i’m grabbing my shit, hoppin back in the whip,
to get my ass back to the crib,
it been a long day,
i hop in the bed and im out like the light bulb in the hallway,
till the light from tomorrows sunrays, start shining in my face,
and i hear my jack doin something it never did before today, and i’m like AY!
What the Fuck!!!
I already know its you cause i gave you the ringtone, i give to all the runners that i meet thats already ready to go, “You’s a Hoe”
HOOOOOEEEE!!!!!!!!
but you aint even worth me picking up the phone and letting you know,
SO,
i go back to snoring,
thinking,

DONT EVER FUCKIN’ CALL ME IN THE MORNIN!!!!!!!

See you, we been kicking it for a month or two,
dinner dates on the phone late a couple drinks and playing pool,
probably caught a movie or two,
even brought you to a function conducted by my Kali Kingz crew„
see you got me interested, tryin to slide some pimpin in my sentences cause i’m actually diggin and feelin you,
plus you kinda stout so one night out i said we could do anything you wanna do,
you said, “great cause i’m missing Will and Grace, wanna come back to my place”,
i said “only if you want me to”,
so we on ya couch and ya hand is on my thigh,
i’m lookin in ya eyes and it give me a rise,
and kinda like you planned it you said you’ll handle it seeming so happy to ablige,
much to my surprise,
so two or three hours passes by since one thing led to another,
now we asleep up under the covers like a couple of lovers,
i pop up at 3:06 like oh shit!!!, this is gonna be trouble,
so i make up some quick shit like i gotta dip in the morning i gotta do something for my mother,
no dont get up, i’ll set the bottom lock up talk to you soon,
and before you know it im in  the wind i’m gone right back to my empty bed :) and my own room,
and while in the midst of the early morning mist,
ten percent woke ninety percent sleeping good as shit,
my phone rings and i’m like,
Who in tha Fuck is This!!!!,
its you,
interupting my bliss like i owe you a goodnight kiss,
obviously oblivious to the fact that before this,
we never engaged before eight except for the day we had reservations as six,
so this is rediculous, plus i know you aint about to be talkin about shit,
I pick up, “Hello”, voice all groggy and deep,
you say “hey” then utter the dumbest words i ever heard, “are you sleep?”,
“shit i was till you called”, then you start talking like you aint hear me at all,
so i gotta cut you off,
baby last night was great the way you were performing,
and you could tell from my face i was genuinely enjoying the way you were moaning,
and i can honestly see our relationship growing,
but right now you in violation of my code section sixty eight,

DONT EVER FUCKIN’ CALL ME IN THE MORNIN’!!!!!!!

And you,
I was just coming by to say hi,
aint seen you in a while and wanted to know if life been treating you right,
“i’m eating, wanna come inside”, was the invite,
I’m like, “aiight, you know i gotta healty appetite”,
reminisce on dumb arguments and fights,
“oh memba when somethin somethin was like somethin somethin somethin and niggas was like somethin,”
“yeah that was a crazy night”, “dam baby girl you lookin nice”,
she said, “well no doubt you been workin out, ya arms is lookin tight”,
both catching feelins from finally seeing eachother eye to eye,
and that feelin turned into me feelin on her right,
which turned into us turning and early evening into a hot n steamy night,
now i’m thinkin about stayin cause us layin is feelin so right,
but i gotta leave,
i told my thugs meet me at the club at 12:15, i look up and its 1:03,
grab on her butt give her a hug kiss on the forehead and say tomorrow dont forget about me,
meet my niggas do my thang, head back to where we hang,
hit the hey and fall out like Jigga and Dame,
and like State Property you up EARLY and think its okay to bother me,
“RING”, URRRGH, WHO IN THA FUCK IS CALLIN ME,
i’m still drunk sloppily,
so whatever is about to come out my mouth is the harsh reality,
about callin me being dealt with properly,
“Hello”,
“hey boo i was thinking about you, did you have fun kickin it with yo boys you went out wit,”
CLICK
“RING”
look i aint tryin to be facetious but Jesus!!,

last night was straight maybe even great but aint shit changed between us since i inserted my penis,
okay maybe it did,
but callin me during the morning dew, i’m not cool wit it,
thats foolishness, whats the use of it,
i’m enjoying my slumber then i see ya number, thats some rude ass shit,
straight up annoying,
and i aint conforming to the sentiment that since we been intimate you can call me when the sun is dawning,
it is what it is, we did what we did,
now

DONT EVER FUCKIN’ CALL ME IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!

P.S.
to the slick chicks, who dont know who you messin wit, that include text messages.

Ok, this is for those guys that have a hard time approaching women themselves, but once the contact has been made are usually good at talking.

It takes a little creativity and some preparation, but if you do it right, you will have a shitload of chicks coming up to you.

I figured this out while doing some work for a women’s clothing company I am starting. I printed out about 15 designs of shirts that I had made for my company and I went downtown and set up a table in the middle of the mall.

I kept two notebooks out, one with a tally for the designs, and one for the ladies info. I just stood there and anybody who walked by, I asked them if they would like to give me their input on my designs.

I handed them my designs and told them to tell me which ones they liked and which they didn’t. After they were done, I gave them some spiel about how we were going to be giving away some hats and shirts later on, and if they would like to put down their info, we would enter them in the drawing.

Eventually, I gained a crowd and people would start coming up to the table of their own volition, asking me what I was doing.

I gave them the same spiel and then they were on their way.

However when there was any bad chick that approached, I would start asking them questions, that seemed like demographic questions, but they were really questions that made them realize I was interested. I would keep talking until someone else came up, and then I would ask them if they wanted to do something later, and told them to put their info down on the sheet. I would put stars by all the chicks that I liked.

At the end of the day, from about 4 hours of that, I had about 50 numbers and about 15 that wanted to do something later on with me.

The best part was that the women saw that I was not only creative because of the designs, but they also saw that I had drive and ambition. It was by far the easiest way I’ve ever gotten some girls’ phone numbers.